Broken Bed
by ContinuousSpec
Summary: Fixing a bed isn't as much fun as breaking it.


Bits of sawdust sprayed over Shepard and into her eyes. A string of curses erupted from her as she tried to blink them out. She quickly came to the realization that fixing a bed was not as fun as breaking it.

The wooden frame of her now broken bed was slumped down on the left side. With the right side not looking much better. The mattress was thrown towards the side so she could see as she worked from underneath.

With the just an extra bit of force, the screws that had once helped her bed together had become bent and useless. A few had even snapped and remained in the wood. More curses escaped from her lips as she attempted to remove the last few of the screws. The bent bits were a bitch to get out.

"You alright down there? Sure you don't need help?" Garrus peered over her. The panels of the bed lined her view of him. He was still shirtless from earlier but threw on a pair of slacks with his visor back in place. His arms crossed as he looked down at her with amusement.

"I'm fine, just stand there and look pretty," she yelled over the drill, almost getting the screw out.

"That's what I'm here for," he quipped back.

"Of course," Shepard snorted a laugh as she finally freed it.

She continued to speak after her celebration. "Could you even fit under here? Although you should since this is your fault." Her own movement was restrained. With her back pressed into the ground, not giving her much room to maneuver. She wished the legs and head of the bed hadn't been bolted down.

"You're going to blame me?" Garrus laughed at the accusation. "Even after I think I remember someone saying 'Oh Garrus harder, please, harder,'" he mocked her in a high-pitched voice that he could manage. Shepard's face reddened at the reminder.

"Shut up," she huffed as she lightly lobbed the screw at him between the panels. He caught it with ease and turned over it in his hands, inspecting it carefully.

Garrus ignored her decree and continued. "And while I would love to take the credit, I'd say that should go towards the poor excuse you have for a bed." He held the thin and rusted screw towards her for her own inspection. With getting a better look at the brittle metal, it was surprising the bed had held out for so long.

"Seriously?"

"Just think, with how much money that has been poured into you and the _Normandy_ , Cerberus was going to cheap out somewhere," he said with a shrug.

"Yeah, but that somewhere just had to be my bed? I mean it's not like I needed a giant ass fish tank." Countless numbers of poor fish had died due to her negligence. How was her hamster still alive again?

"I could tell."

"Hey! The VI is taking care of that now," she waved her hand at the tank with now lively and well-fed fish.

"So you'll spend credits on an aquarium VI, but not a functioning bed?"

"How was I supposed to know it was going to go to shit?" Returning his question with another.

"You have a lovely way with words Shepard."

"Thank you. I try," she rolled her eyes at him and went back to her work.

After freeing the rest of the old screws, Shepard finally put Garrus to use by holding up the frame as she drilled. They moved their way down the left side of the bed, putting in new screws. She sighed at the annoyances of the effort.

"This better work, I don't want to explain a procedure order for a new bed to Steve. It was difficult enough to get the drill."

"How so?"

Shepard had stocked down to the cargo bay in sweats and a messy bun in hopes to find the needed tools without question. Of course, Steve was still down there working on the Kodiak that had taken a beating on Despoina. She tried to convince him to get some sleep or to get out of the cargo bay for once. Instead, Steve convinced her to let him help. She should have just used her cloak.

"He was very insistent on helping. I didn't want to tell him about the bed, so I said it was for the desk." Shepard paused and concentrated on drilling in the next screw and continued.

"Then it became this whole thing about what kind of screws I needed. Like why would I need wood screws for a metal desk and all that kind of stuff," she brandish the drill around as she spoke. Feeling exhausted from the remembrances of the helpful interrogation. "He's too perspective."

Garrus gave her an odd look. "Why lie about it?"

The question caused her to pause. She didn't need her private life out in the open. "Well fixing up a bed implies _things_."

"Things?" He continued to question her.

"You know what I mean," she waved her hand around gesturing to nothing. "That it was broken during sex."

"Well, yeah that's what happened," he said flatly. Shepard was pretty sure she saw his eyes roll.

Her nose scrunched up at him and hissed. "I didn't want him to know that!"

"Alright, whatever you say," Garrus laughed and let her get back to work.

She worked quickly, wanting to finish what they had started. They would be getting to the Citadel soon. Which meant more running around trying to keep the whole galaxy from falling apart. As if it hadn't already.

First Reapers, now Leviathan. _Fuck._ She didn't want to think about that now. She just wanted this time to relax. To enjoy her time with Garrus, just once.

Shepard began to lose focus on the task at hand. Such little time and there she was making them spend it on fixing the bed. She carefully placed down the drill and popped up between two of the bed panels.

Her hands grabbed at his cowl and pulled him towards her with a kiss. Garrus willingly complied as he held the frame to keep it stable. It was an awkward angle to maneuver with him crouched over the bed and her mostly underneath it, but at that moment she didn't care.

After a while, she broke the kiss as the angle was getting a bit too uncomfortable. Her hands still tightly grasped on to him as she whispered. "You know there is always the desk if this doesn't work."

He leaned down closer nestling in her neck and spoke low and hushed. "And if we break that too?" His good mandible fluttered against her, sending vibrations into her skin. Damn, now they really needed to hurry up with this.

She giggled as that would be just her luck. "Well, then I guess I'll just have to actually listen to Steve on correct screws."

* * *

"And that's the last one," Shepard said triumphantly. She shook the frame for good measure. She scooted herself from underneath letting Garrus lifted her up with ease. Relief washed over her as she finally stood up and admired their handiwork.

Without a second more, they quickly placed the mattress back onto the frame. She slid onto her bed, happy to have it back intact. She gave a wanting look towards Garrus and patted the bed.

"Well, you want to test it out or not?" Shepard urged, now needing to finish what they had started.

"Definitely."

They were given a few brief minutes of peace before being met with the familiar groan of wood cracking and screws snapping. The two tumbled on top of each other as they hit the ground. And not in the way that Shepard had been hoping for. The frame slipped under onto the right side. Mirroring the bed as it was broken before.

"Crap," Garrus sighed and looked over at the damage. "We should have reinforced the other side." Shepard cursed at herself for forgetting about it.

"Okay, fine, whatever screw it! I'm done!" She laughed and threw her hands in the air admitting defeat for once in her life. This had probably been the most ridiculous situation that Cerberus had gotten her in, minus the investigation of live volcanoes or dead Reapers. "I'll put in an order next shift for a new _metal_ bed. In the meantime, want to just throw the mattress on the ground for now?"

"I liked the desk idea," Garrus drawled, dragging a talon lightly across her hip.

A sly smile crept up on her face. "Both then?"

"Deal," he said as worked his way out of the wreckage and offered her his hand.

She took hold of him and sighed as he lifted her once again into a hug. "Let's try not break either of them this time."

"No promises," he said as he dropped his brow to her forehead. She laughed and nuzzled him back in return. Now determined more than ever to finish what they had started.


End file.
